Thursday, July 30, 2009

Guest Enforcers

Boom, Shaq-a-lacka!

Shaquille O'Neal's role as guest enforcer on WWE Monday Night Raw proved to be dramatic. NBA as well as Kazaam fans around the world tuned in to see if the "Shaqtus" would fight the world's largest athelete--7-foot, 485 pound 5-time world heavyweight champion, Paul "(The) Big Show" Wight.

Shaq tried to intimidate Big Show by puckering his lips in his direction and provoked Big Show's tag teammate Chris Jericho by calling him "Christina". Big Show responded by saying that Shaq would have a better chance of hitting two free throws in a row than intimidating him. Judging by Shaq's career free throw percentage--52.8%--my math tells me the odds of him making two in a row are 52.8% x 52.8% = 27.9%, which would mean that the odds of the Big Show being intimidated by Shaq's kissy faces are less than 27.9%--though low, still within the range of possibility. At the end of the day, however, I think Big Show's point was made, evidenced by Shaq's disgusted glare.
"Two free throws--in a row!" Thus was the bold declaration of Big Show's lack of intimidatedness of Shaquille. The two extended fingers evidenced Big Show's bright and unclouded mind--the ability to count on his fingers. He may have more brawns than brains, but he's loaded with both.

Though Big Show claimed the chances were slim of him being intimidated, he declined Shaq's invitation to a match, citing the reasons as not wanting the NBA breathing down his neck, legal fees, attorneys, and "Kobe Bry--who is it--LeBron James?" Though Big Show's argument may have been convincing to some, he still later beckoned the guest enforcer to enter the ring.

And the enforcer accepted.
Dual death grip--Big Show started it, Shaq finished it.

Big Show attacked by getting Shaq into a death grip, but Shaq countered with one of his own. After the two unlocked, Shaq body slammed Big Show off the ring. Game over.

An Enforcer of Another Color

I had the priveledge of playing the same role as Shaq as I accompanied my roommates on a home teaching visit last evening.

As I pondered my role as guest enforcer of the home teaching visit, I thought about the durastic difference in my circumstances to Shaq's on Monday. Though I was still the "guest enforcer", my role did not receive attention from the media. The audience was one--three if you count Harry and Srun. No death grips, no trash talk, no spotlight, no fanfares or rolling red carpets for me. As I was pondering these differences while Harry began sharing a message, he was finishing his opening line of his thought:

"...of the Book of Mormon's unboundless veracity!"

My thoughts shifted from the Big Show and Shaquille to why on earth he used the word "unboundless". Isn't that equivalent to "bounded"?

Harry turned to me and asked: "Ben, do you have anything you would like to say about this?"

I struggled to regain my focus and said: "Much has been said tonight about the Book of Mormon. I can't tell you what to think." As I continued my message I thought of an unsung hero in Church history--Brother Eleazar Miller.

Eleazar Miller--certainly not a headline in Church history--nonetheless was an unparalleled "enforcer" in a man's life as the man heard this "man without eloquence" share his testimony. That man, by the way, was Brigham Young. Brother Eleazar was invited to share his testimony of the Book of Mormon in a meeting one evening in which Brigham was present. It was his testimony that convinced Brigham that the Book was true. The rest is history.

Gradually I saw my perspective shift 180 degrees from thinking that guest enforcer on WWE's Monday Night Raw was the significant of the two. The audience was much louder, but also much more fleeting. Now I can boldly say, alluding to Big Show, that Shaq has a better chance of making two free throws [holding up two fingers] in a row, than for me willing to trade him spots in our respective guest enforcer roles--not only because I could neither escape Big Show's death grip nor body slam him as Shaq, but also because like Eleazar, my simple understanding outweighs my eloquence.


Eleazar Miller: performance is what matters, not the size of the stage.


I've often thought about if it would all be worth giving up if I had the opportunity: the glamour, the fame, the popularity of a professional athlete. If I had the option available and I gave up all the fame and fortune--is it worth it? [pause] Yeah, it's worth it.